MARFAM WEEKLY E-NEWSLETTER 3 DECEMBER 2025
I’ve been watching quite a bit of Pope Leo’s tour, call it a pilgrimage, to Turkey and Lebanon this weekend. . The main occasion was the 1700th anniversary of the acceptance of the Nicene Creed by the Christian community of the time. Although at that time there were divisions and heresies, the main division in Christianity came about many centuries later, with the Orthodox and the Roman churches separating and later more divisions in each of them. The Pope’s meetings with lay and church leaders of many kinds were beautifully “staged” and very meaningful affairs. His call in Turkey was mainly for unity, within and between churches and other believers. He also mention the importance of the family. In Lebanon his focus was on peace and being peace-makers. Side-shows like meetings with groups, a visit to a psychiatric hospital and other smaller simpler affairs outlined his concern for the poor, marginalized and suffering people.
But speaking of affairs and a family context can also have negative connotations, as it speaks of breakdown and unfaithfulness in marriage linked with passion. A true family affair should include passion and love, but be an experience of sincere faithfulness. A family affair should be bringing family members together that many not have seen or met each other since last Christmas. It should be a joyous occasion with an exciting build up and preparation, as part of the family holiday time. For many of us older people such affairs were memories, memorable times, when we were younger and probably more energetic. Not less busy than families of today, as getting such an event off the ground needs plenty of energy for “making and baking, cooking and cleaning” as I used to write in MARFAM’s Advent and Christmas programmes and booklets ever since 1995. Modern families on the whole are very busy, but in different ways, work and school schedules, also leisure and self-care activities, expensive business lunches and year end parties, with free-flowing alcohol. But overindulgence and abuse have been around for centuries as noted in yesterday’s gospel : At that time Jesus said, ”Take heed to yourselves, lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life. Watch at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things and to stand before the Son of man. Luke 21:34-35. Would the cares of this life be able to include spiritual family get-togethers, or should they be more other-worldly? Undoubtedly there always has to be a healthy sense of balance, considering the vision that the Church is a Family, and the Family is a little Church of the home.
We’re into the 16 days of activism against gender-based violence and have also commemorated World AIDS Day on 1 December. What does this indicate about the situation and the lived experience of families and their affairs today? Are we wealthier or poorer, more or less happy and content, functioning well or more dysfunctional?
Like different categories of poverty, I could say that there are also different categories of Advent and Christmas affairs. Spiritually there are a good number of reflection programmes available, online and in parishes, groups and communities, sometimes offering healing or reconciliation. From the family perspective I believe we do need that spiritual dimension together with a good balance of some of that social and worldly stuff. MARFAM’s focus would be on families at home, wherever that might be. Migrant workers go home, families in rural areas rejoice, or might be challenged by an influx of visitors too. Not all migrants and refugees can go home. Very many people of all ages may be alone at home. Could it be that healing and recon is required within families too?
Looking through my 30 years of Advent programmes I found many suggestions for activities but also many stories highlighting family realities in our vastly different contexts. Old stories are about couples and parents, children, or old people, prisoners and travelers, angels and saints. A true story of a massacre in KZN, Shoboshabane is built into the Children’s Peace Pilgrimage in the 2025 booklet, FAMILIES IN CREATION – HOPE FOR THE FUTURE. Imaginary stories like the Holy Family going into exile is one of my favourites.
I am a fan of LAUDATO SI, with its message of “the cry of the poor and the cry of the earth” as features of our time. Is poverty, material, mental, spiritual, cultural and relational a growing feature? I sometimes ask myself if I am becoming senile, or just cynical and at times lonely too, as both Pope Francis and Pope Leo have both noted, loneliness is often the experience of the elderly. Pope Leo’s Dilexi Te on the love of the poor, following on from Pope Francis’ Dilexit Nos on Jesus’ love, and ours for Jesus, remind us of the different categories of poverty experienced by many family people, much of the time and in our own particular life situations. Will Christmas be about a growing love of Jesus, recognized in the different faces of the poor, whom we are called to love in Jesus’ name?
MARFAM Examples: Separate leaflets with explanations are available from www.marfam.org.za And the recent focus on synodal Family Faith Sharing is naturally part of these.
ACTIVITIES. Family Advent wreath, daily prayer around lit candles. Jesse tree – reflections on ancestors of Jesus. Family fast Day – saving money for the poor. Family Reconciliation service – Family Prayer Meal. Making – crafty things e.g. homemade presents, decorations, gift parcels for poor. Baking – mince pies, cookies.
STORIES – life-related examples of different family situations. help us think of loving others, leading us to reflect and pray, praise and thank God.
The type of family affairs I dream of and would wish to commemorate this Advent would be ones where peace and goodwill reign in our hearts, where faith-filled men and women in families of all types and generations, will welcome a redeemer to a world that is prepared to welcome him and receive him with gladness and gratefulness. Advent and Christmas should ideally be a series of family affairs, full of faithful love and passion too, of enjoyment, caring and sharing, looking out for the lonely, the abandoned, neglect or lost.
In other words, Family Affairs are about THE JOY OF LOVE. Or as in one popular hymn “My God loves me…………. the joys of love as offering now we bring, the pains of love will be lost in the praise we sing.” Except that why not change the words to “Our God loves us……………………. Is that not truly THE JOY OF LOVE. TR. 3 December 2025
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
3 December. St Francis Xavier. Abraham. St Francis Xavier was a Spaniard who lived in the 16th century. He was from a wealthy background and received a call from God to be a missionary, to leave his home and go out to spread the gospel to new, strange and faraway places. He went to the Far East, India and Japan as one of the first Jesuit missionaries there. Abraham was also called by God to leave his home and go to a new place. God told him he would be the father of a great nation and his descendants would be as many as the stars. There are still missionaries today leaving their home countries, no doubt hoping and praying that their mission would also bear fruit. Pope Leo XIV left his home country, the US, and went to Peru to minister to the poor, who had already heard the gospel many years ago. Would Pope Leo still be considered a missionary, or are we not all called to be missionary disciples? His journey to the Middle East countries of turkey and Lebanon were surely missionary journeys too.
Reflect and share. Scripture: Jesus said to the Eleven. “Go out into all the world and preach the gospel to the whole creation. He who believes and is baptized will be saved. In my name they will cast out demons, speak in new tongues, they will lay their hands on the sick and they will recover. Mk 16: 15-20. The Lord said to Abraham, “ go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation and I will bless you. Gen 12: 1-2. Pope Francis: “Behold I stand at the door and knock, if any one hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him and he with me.” Jubilee: May the Christian community always be prepared to defend the rights of those who are most vulnerable, opening wide its doors to welcome them, lest anyone ever be robbed of the hope of a better future. May the Lord’s words in the great parable of the Last Judgement find an echo in our hearts: “I was a stranger and you welcomed me” for “just as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you did it to me” Pope Leo: Jesus said, “God is near, God loves you. (cf. Lk 7:22). This explains why he proclaims: ‘Blessed are you poor, for yours is the kingdom of God’ (Lk 6:20). God shows a preference for the poor: the Lord’s words of hope and liberation are addressed first of all to them. Therefore, even in their poverty or weakness, no one should feel abandoned. And the Church, if she wants to be Christ’s Church, must be a Church of the Beatitudes, one that makes room for the little ones and walks poor with the poor, a place where the poor have a privileged place. DT 21. Act and pray: At this time of Advent, may we be particularly conscious of the needs of strangers and those who are poor.
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