MARFAM FAMILY MATTERS WEEKLY E-NEWSLETTER

COMING SOON: 2026 SEASON OF CREATION. check out https://www.seasonofcreation.org

This month has provided me with very many different ways of considering sexuality.   We spent more time on women than on men but we did reflect on coupleness through complimentarity and complementarity and, as SA commemorates Women’s month and Day  on 9 August I did manage to present that in a couple format and woman in her rightful  place. Of course both spouses should be in their rightful places – complementing one another – making the perfect fit and communicating well i.e. being complimentary to one another too, by the honesty and sincerity of their sharing.  According to God’s plan in the creation stories the human couple is a gift through their sexuality.  I wish to note,  that I believe that, although the Church does not recognize their relationship as a marriage, a same sex couple can and does experience their love as a gift from God – if they feel OK about their reality.

Sexuality is an important, even essential part of life of almost every creature.   The procreation, reproductive aspect is a special gift – ideally the deepest most rewarding, most pleasurable aspect enjoyed with God’s blessing in appropriate circumstances. I’m intrigued by a radio talk show I hear on my travels from time to time. It is mainly about the joys of physical sex, more than the negative aspects of abuse and exploitation which is well known and often what springs to mind. Gender-based violence is an abuse of the gift of sexuality in all aspects  physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual.   

Since the time of the Second Vatican Council many popes have written on sexuality. Pope Paul VI Humanae Vitae is mostly remembered for his rejection of artificial contraception but we must not forget his strong focus on the positive side and beauty of human sexuality, while Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body has developed into a whole catechesis. Pope Francis in Amoris Laetitia also refers to the Second Vatican Council’s teaching that “conjugal love embraces the good of the whole person, enriching spiritual and physical expression with a unique dignity as special features of the friendship proper to marriage.  If passion accompanies a free act, it can manifest the depth of that act. Marital love strives to ensure that one’s entire emotional life benefits the family as a whole and stands at the service of its common life.  A; 142-146.   Pope Benedict in his encyclical Deus Caritas Est even comments,  “doesn’t the Church, with all her commandments and prohibitions, turn to bitterness the most precious thing in life? Doesn’t she blow the whistle just when the joy which is the Creator’s gift offers us a happiness which is itself a certain foretaste of the Divine?”  He admits there have been exaggerations and deviances, but the Scriptures did not reject eros as such.   

I have not touched on sexuality in the context of virginity and celibacy and those who are unmarried, considering that everyone, male and female remains a sexual being  Those in religious life, according to Pope Francis, choose virginity as their form of love, and a sign that speaks of the coming of the Kingdom, of complete devotion to the cause of the Gospel and “looking forward to the fullness of heaven where they neither marry not are given in marriage. “ AL 159.  Many people, young or older, are unmarried at times of their lives and have to deal with their sexuality issues from within their own conscience.

Today on my Family Matters radio show we’re also hearing from a young person who has been engaged in the Salesian Love Matters programme.   Pope Francis stresses that sex education can only be seen within the broader framework of an education for love, for mutual self-giving.   The sexual urge can be directed through a process of growth in self-knowledge and self-control capable of nurturing valuable capacities for joy and loving encounter. He warns about the flood of pornography and an overload of stimuli that can deform sexuality. New and appropriate language is needed in introducing children and adolescents to the topic of sexuality.   AL 281.   

Do our young people get to hear the good news from strangers?  Do children see their parents fight and also make their overall love relationship visible to them. Children may of course be embarrassed by seeing their parents “in love,” which is what they should be and which should create that atmosphere at home. . Is that not the best form of sex education we can offer them. Do our adolescents and young adults, or our own young married couples communicate readily with their parents, about family planning and concerns, about fertility or unhappiness?  Do they share their joys? Sadly they often don’t.  Whatever culture we live in, it seems that open sexual communication in families remains a kind of taboo, rather than the mutual gift that they have all been given to share.  TR 26 August 2026

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.

 

August 26. SEE. Work matters.   Some of the successful career women in the sharing groups were inclined to boast about how many family members they supported.  Their generosity was commended, sure, but Portia also made a strong point about other men and women who sit back and just accept help and don’t even try to get a job.   She shared, “It is shocking that there are people who have not worked or tried to get work for years.   Joseph got an AIDS disability grant, and doesn’t comply with his ARV treatment because if he gets better he might lose his grant.   What does that do to his dignity as a breadwinner?”   “Maybe that is being judgmental and oversimplifying things.  There is so much more to HIV/AIDS and its impact on families.   Some can no longer work, for some the stigma is still an issue, but nowadays with ARVs available the stigma is often even forgotten.”  “I’ve always thought that in some strange way ARVs are a cop out.  The real answer to HIV/AIDS surely is behavior change.”    

JUDGE. Reflect, share, act. Scripture: “If anyone will not work, let him not eat.  2 Thess 3: 6-10   Pope Francis:  Labour makes possible the development of society and provides for the sustenance, stability and fruitfulness of one’s family.   We appreciate the suffering created by unemploymenton the lack of steady work which takes its toll on the serenity of family life. AL 23. Pope Leo: We can understand the great intuition of Saint Benedict of Nursia, who united prayer and work, showing daily activity to be a part of the human response to God’s call. Created in the image of the Creator, our own work in some way continues his, for thereby we contribute to the progress of society and the common good, put to good use the capabilities we have received, improve and beautify the world, support our families, engage in cooperative relationships and, through listening and dialogue, learn to build together something that no one could achieve alone.

ACT AND PRAY.   Act and pray for appropriate ways to address the issues in your own family.  Pray St Francis Peace Prayer and pray: Mary, Queen Assumed into Heaven, Patroness of South Africa, pray for us.