MARFAM FAMILY MATTERS WEEKLY E-NEWSLETTER 29 JULY 2026

MARFAM’s July theme “Grandparents are Families’ Roots” has certainly been well-aired quite widely. Although we ourselves have celebrated grandparents for more than 30 years, from 2021 and Pope Francis’ special initiative WORLD DAY FOR GRANDPARENTS AND THE ELDERLY, we’ve included the elderly family members, who are not grandparents, and of course not all grandparents are elderly.  As we get to the end of the month and look ahead to August with its theme, “Sexuality a Family Gift,”  there is a kind of natural progression. Some people may have the mistaken view that older people are not sexually active, while many have a limited perception about sex and sexuality. We are all sexual beings from the day we are born until we die. Elderliness includes coupleness, parenting and singleness, with a spirituality of each of these, or going further, there are death, widowhood, separation and grandparenting.  Every phase or stage of life has its spirituality too, its particular way of relating to God and these can often be different for women and men. The wider aspect of sexuality across the circle of life will be explored more deeply in the month ahead but this week the focus is on the elderly in the circle of life. 

In my research I came across an interesting reflection on indigenous communities with a beautiful image; comparing the human family to a forest.  A plantation of young trees is not a forest.   A forest of many trees should be a multigenerational, continually growing collection of trees, which age and support one another, especially through the nurturing elements of their root systems.  Plenty of undergrowth completes and complements a real forest.    The article relates this to the human family in a traditional indigenous setting.   https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/moral-landscapes/201903/wise-elders-in-the-circle-life?eml The elders are a key part of the circle of life in these communities. The elders are patient and kind caregivers to children. They tell children the stories that provide the history of the people, that show the way to live well and the dangers of human frailties. They fuel the imagination toward cooperation with all members of the local landscape, human and other-than-human. Elders are not afraid of mystery, of dying, of living fully. They are tuned into the living nature of the world and not fearful of losing themselves in it. The human family is a changing and developing system and the life-giving role of elders is extremely important.

The Circle of Life must be one of the best and most well-known songs of life, in the movie THE LION KING, an old story of good and evil, portrayed in one of Disney’s most popular movies from 1994.  The main character is the young Simba but the good and wise older man, the king, his father, personifies the wisdom of age and of good leadership with Rafiki as the spiritual guide. The king is  threatened by evil in the form of the jealous younger brother. Of course there is lots of drama and romance too, but the theme song, part in Swahili and partly in English with a snippet of Zulu, is particularly memorable . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxTb24gXRL8   The English verse”

From the day we arrive on the planet
And, blinking, step into the sun
There’s more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There’s far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round

It’s the circle of life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
‘Til we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle
The circle of life

The positive and the negative.

In both these examples elders or the elderly, are seen through traditional eyes and in a positive light.  This does still happen in some cultures and for some is regarded as an ideal, but the opposite is equally true as highlighted by Pope Leo in his message for this year’s special day with the theme “I will never forget you.” Too often the elderly are forgotten, abandoned or cast out. Exploitation in the forms of financial support and abuse, even physical abuse happen, within families or in care facilities,   Loneliness is a major social concern today when grandparents and elderly members no longer live in or are closely connected with their extended families, possibly of three or maybe four generations. A family is changing and developing system and each stage brings its qualities, strengths as well as weaknesses which, for the elderly, Pope Leo refers to as their ‘fragility.’  However in the circle of life all the stages matter. There may be greatgrandchildren, grandchildren, parents, parents of parents or even grandparents of parents at the top of the tree, but possibly already with one foot in the grave. At every stage there are male and female members, with their styles, roles and practices. In this web of life unconditional love and acceptance should be the hallmarks and all the life skills needed by each can be taught or caught.  But elderliness as a moral example urgently needs to be revived according to the article in Psychology today  as the qualities of the old are too often tragically missed in the process. 

On a spiritual and a sexual note, the World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly is linked with the feast on 26 July of St Joachim and St Ann, the parents of Mary and grandparents of Jesus.  Little is known about these two older parents who struggled with the problem and stigma of infertility, according to the eastern churches which have venerated them over the centuries.  Like a number of other Bible accounts of special children born to older parents, their years of prayer about their childlessness were finally blessed and their hope was fulfilled. A current, very attractive YouTube film for this time shares this story of trust and hope as an inspirational tool on their faith journey for families of believers, old and young.    

In the Church and in society too there is much talk today of unity.   The image of a Circle of Life has a family feel about it, and for me it relates well to the task of building a civilisation of love that Pope Leo notes as an objective of his encyclical Magnifica Humanitas.   The dignity of each member of a family, group or parish and even the whole World as a Family of Families is at stake. But we have hope, as well as faith and love. Hakuna matata! a great saying from tthe Lion King. No problem. no sweat! TR 29 July 2026

  

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.

July 29. SEE.  Suicide is a very serious reality today and is one of the highest causes of death in teenagers, while it does occur in all ages. Why should that be so, that they are so unhappy or tired of life at this early age.   Doris had been extremely worried about this when her daughter survived a suicide attempt. When years later her grandson was deeply depressed she decided to become a counsellor for Suicides Anonymous and was taught how to listen and support both youth whose lives appeared meaningless to them, and to older people who no longer seemed to have a will to live any longer.     

JUDGE. Reflect and share. Scripture.   Woe is me my mother that you bore me, a man of strife and contention to the whole land. Jeremiah 15: 10.  Pope Francis:   There is a general feeling of powerlessness in the face of socio-cultural realities that oftentimes end up crushing families.  The negative impact on the social order is clear, in an increase of emotional problems and outbreaks of violence.  The State has the responsibility to pass laws and create work to ensure the future of young people and help them realise their plan of forming a family. AL43. Pope Leo:   The Church understands the suffering of her elderly members; she knows they are all too often viewed through the lens of stereotypes and considered a burden; a profit-driven economy weakens family ties; many elderly people are left behind by children who are forced to migrate or, in some cases, to fight in wars. For each of these reasons, she joyfully proclaims the Lord’s promise: “But I will never forget you!” Message for the Elderly and Grandparents 2026.   

ACT AND PRAY. Consider why some old and young people appear to be “tired of life.”  How can you make a contribution to help them experience love and joy and keep them in your prayers.    Pray the Prayer of St Francis, pray for grandparents and the elderly.  We pray for God’s blessing on the grandparents and elderly of our families and community, bless them with peace and contentment and an acceptance that their lives were well spent in your service. We ask St Joachim and St Anne, the grandparents of Jesus, to pray with us.