MARFAM WEEKLY FAMILY MATTERS E-NEWSLETTER 14 JANUARY 2026

At the start of this new year, which we welcome with hopes, dreams and reservations, I thought it a good idea to give a short explanation of MARFAM – Marriage and Family Life Renewal Ministry and its approach, It is now 31 years old, founded in 1994, at the end of the 1st UN International Year of the Family and also the 1st African Synod of bishops, i.e. noting society and the Church. These and the life experience of our founding team, Chris and Toni Rowland with Frs Francois Dufour and Brendan Proctor, who had been working in marriage ministry in Catholic Engaged Encounter for some years was and largely remain at the heart of our vision and mission.  The spirituality of marriage from Marriage Encounter had been our original inspiration but we had also come to observe that there is much more to family life than marriage, which is still God’s ideal foundation for a family.   The 1994 Conference theme of FAMILY LIFE – CHANGES, CHALLENGES, CHOICES aptly describes the reality we have come to explore, embrace and support. MARFAM’s name and logo were chosen deliberately,  “Living in the Church in the home.”  

 MARFAM MISSION STATEMENT 1994.

Already the 2nd Vatican Council of 1962-1965 had described the family as the domestic church, the little church of the home.   The African Synod chose the image of THE CHURCH AS FAMILY OF GOD as appropriate for Africa and this family focus of the Church as a whole and the family as the first little church, where God is present and can be experienced, have been core concepts of the spirituality which is essentially a lay spirituality of the many aspects of family life, which include parenting, elderly care, sexuality, birth and death as well as the daily life of work, school,  leisure activities.  

Apart from a doctrinal and catechetical foundation MARFAM has always followed closely the writings of the Popes, especially John Paul II, and Francis, with Pope Leo’s work already being taken on board. Pope John Paul II’s Familiaris consortio was a very helpful foundational document with its description, “A family is an intimate community of life and love, bonded together for life by blood, marriage or adoption.”  and its 4 tasks in the Church.  

  1. To become the intimate community of life and love
  2. To nurture and support life from conception to natural death
  3. To be active in the world as the secular domain.
  4. To share in the life and mission of the Church.  

MARFAM continued on its way over the years, sadly and badly affected by the untimely death of Chris Rowland in 2000, leaving Toni almost single-handedly to continue full-time ministry, supported by volunteers and board members.  

The writings of Pope Francis from the start of his pontificate in 2013 after the world-wide study of the current situation of marriage and family life resulted in his document AMORIS LAETITIA – the Joy of Love.  This and the environment as key areas of his pontificate presented too in his encyclical LAUDATO SI – on Care of our Common Home have informed much of our ministry in most recent years.   Pope Leo in recent addresses has raised a number of family issues, most recently condemning what he described as “progressive institutional marginalization of the family worldwide in his address to diplomats to the Holy See.   

So, what has MARFAM been doing to promote and develop the lay, family spirituality.   Publications were from the start a resource for families and for the Church in providing family life education. A Family Year Planner with monthly themes quite early on allowed for an overview and background to other aspects. More than 20 years of FAMILY MATTERS magazines contained a wide variety of articles, including a series on Sexuality Education for families, and practical tools for family catechesis – now described as family faith sharing.  Thoughts for the Day, which now are our main resource, started as weekly scripture reflections but grew into greater teaching tools using the well-known practical See-Judge-Act approach also used for social analysis. These include a Look at Life,  Scripture and Church Teaching and an Action Response and Prayer.   Booklets for liturgical seasons and family prayer have been reprinted many times, also incorporating the same approach.  As almost all material is digital much can be accessed on www.marfam.org.za  

Parish Family Ministry as a project grew from a way of promoting the publications which at the same time are a helpful resource for PFM at parish level and diocesan level.  This project was developed during the years I was employed at the SA Catholic Bishops Conference. 

While networking with other family movements in and beyond the Church, with society through the Department of Social Development as well as some structured family life desks MARFAM has remained more or less independent. The particular focus on Becoming a Family-Centred Church, and recently too an Becoming an Eco-friendly Family remain core.   Workshops and Radio Veritas broadcasts for over 20 years have promoted and highlighted all these different aspects of the Church as Family.  

How successful has MARFAM been?  As a lay driven ministry of family spirituality there has never been sufficient financial backing or formal conceptual support?  To some extent we do have a wide reach and an extensive store of informative resource material, members and subscribers, but a mainstream family focus in Church life has not materialized on the whole.   The reality is that it has more or less remained a small organization, with some very helpful support, but primarily operated by one person, committed to a life-long spiritual journey with “tenacity and perseverance,” being described at times as a “lone ranger” or by myself as “a mad prophet.” I, Toni, exist on the sidelines of a general family focus mainly consisting of programmes for areas and aspects of family life.  At this time it is necessary to evaluate as has been done before and we nvite new views and participation in whatever form to carry the vision and mission forward,

The words of Pope John Paul II in the 1990s form MARFAM’s heart and soul: “families become what you are, the little church of the home”  This vision in today’s world of “changes, challenges and choices” is as needed as much as ever, relevant and enriching, to achieve the Joy of Love which are God’s desire for the experience of his love in the little church of the home.    Toni Rowland  14 January 2026.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 14 JANUARY. LISTENING

14 January.  Listening.  SEE:  This beginning time of the year is often a time for reflection and choosing.  Ideally family dialogue and faith sharing should form part of this process, considering that all life choices can be seen as callings from God. Are parents always open to their sons or daughters being called to serve God in a totally dedicated way?  Do they encourage this, allow children to choose their own vocation in life, or expect them to follow a path they have chosen for them?  Even though there might be a hope that a child will come into the family business, at this time of the year, young people, whenever possible, are starting out to follow their own dream, or calling, which may include further study. Parents often make enormous sacrifices to make this possible.  Are these sacrifices really appreciated?

JUDGE, reflect and share: Scripture: Eli understood that it was the Lord who was calling the boy and he said, “Go and lie down and if someone calls say, “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.” From Samuel 3:1-10. Pope Francis: St Paul recommended virginity because he expected Jesus’ imminent return and he wanted every one to concentrate only on spreading the Gospel.   Nonetheless he recognised the value of different callings. “Each has his or her own special gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. Many people who are unmarried are not only devoted to their own family but often render great service in the group of their friends, in the Church community and in their professional lives. AL 158-9, Pope Leo. Spiritual conversion, the intensity of the love of God and neighbor, zeal for justice and peace, the Gospel meaning of the poor and of poverty, are required of everyone, and especially of pastors and those in positions of responsibility. Dilexit Te.

ACT: Decide on possible appropriate action.   Conclude with prayer