MARFAM WEEKLY E-NEWSLETTER 22 APRIL 2026
“Stop fighting. stop fighting NOW, you kids!!!. Stop it or I’ll……………………….” How many millions of times have you yelled at your kids, or as a teacher at kids in the playground? Isn’t fighting a basic instinct to defend one’s rights or get what you want from someone else? And if this instinct kicks in right from infancy should it not be managed and mastered in those early relationships beginning in the family. And that instinct continues throughout life in little and big matters. Defend or attack. Want or need. Greed or willingness to share. Do behaviour patterns and dynamics originate in family life “by nature or nurture,” and who of us will be the peace-makers, even at risk of hurt?
“Stop fighting” has certainly been Pope Leo’s message these last 10 days in Africa. Ironically it started from his being attacked verbally by the arch-greed-driven world leader of the US as the Holy Father was about to leave Rome. He was obliged to respond to this and other situations of conflict at times but his message, implicit or calmly spoken was, “I’m not here to debate with Trump, I’m promoting justice, world peace, the peace of the Gospel, a peace the world cannot give,” irrespective of what some voices claim is just and their right. “Unarmed and disarming” has been Pope Leo’s message all year, from the World Day of Prayer for Peace on 1 January. Has the world got worse or better since then? Who was he speaking to back then and now in the last few days?
I have been interested in Cameroon for a while, but because of Pope’s Leo 4 day visit I did some homework to get a bigger picture and a better understanding. A central African country of 31 million people and 250 local languages – indicating many different groupings, but with English and French as official languages. Its history includes Portuguese, German, English and French occupations and colonisation, from the 16th century until independence in 1960. English-speaking parts are in north-west and south-west but the north-west is plagued by political unrest between government and separatist groups and periodic violence against the population. Religion is not the main cause of conflict as in some neighbouring countries. The 66% Christian followers are almost equally divided between Catholic and Protestants with Catholics mainly among the French. 30% Muslims include different forms of Islam.
Pope Leo met with government, political and church leaders – bishops, priests and religious. Mass was celebrated daily in different places, some for very large crowds, one of over 100.000. A very special event in Bamenda in the English north-west was a peace vigil, in which people from different religions joined together and several gave testimonies. This included an imam and a father with a family that had been displaced by the terrorist-type attacks. Each Mass took up the readings of the day, for example feeding 5000, the bread of life, a storm in the boat and Jesus coming to the disciples walking on the water. Pope Leo related them to his main messages of peace, national unity, co-operation and care for the marginalised and suffering. He addressed social issues of injustice, war, corruption and poverty especially in the context of inequality. Exploitation of resources is a concern in every one of the countries of the four countries he visited. He visited orphanages and hospitals, spoke to the youth and university members about the future, but did not focus specifically on family life or issues around marriage. All the social issues are an essential background to the experience of families. Nevertheless I was very happy to hear about the Marriage Encounter community from Bamenda with whom I was able to make contact through the miracle of whatsapp. They expressed their delight and will be sharing their own story later in the programme.
Before his time in Cameroon Pope Leo had been in Algeria and visited Annaba, originally Hippo and the place where St Augustine ministered and preached his message of peace, unity and love, which Pope Leo has so much made his own. There are few Christians in Algeria but interreligious dialogue was his word to religious and secular people. After Cameroon the Pope travelled to Angola, a potentially rich country for everyone, but still suffering after-effects of civil war – something we in South Africa should remember from our own history too. How many of our young men and sometimes women were involved with the freedom struggle in the 1970s and 1980s? How did families, – families on different sides of our own conflict, – deal with the danger and anxiety? Do these feelings initiated by images and experiences of war, lead naturally to an urge for peace or for revenge in all generations of families? How can this reality of historical violence be related too to the seemingly endless progression of wars started and waged around the world in very recent times?
South African commemorates Freedom Day on 27 April, a time to remember 1994, to relate, give thanks for the new democratic dispensation, which however appears to be fraying somewhat at the seams. In 1994 on 15 May the UN celebrated the 1st International Day of Families. In 2026 on 15 May International Day for Families has as its theme, “families, inequality and child wellbeing” and the UN is inviting countries worldwide to take careful note.
Another 1994 event was the 1st African Synod of bishops. Can we say that a family awareness was introduced by providing the image and model of the Church as Family-of-God for Africa, because of its particular relevance and appropriateness, but at the same time relevant across all of society and creation too. In my view the Church as Family odel of family values and qualities has not yet been as well developed as it could be. There appears to be a greater focus on everyone in a community becoming part of a generic form of family. “We’re a big happy family, in our church!” “We’re all brothers and sisters” as is often said, rather than helping the families become little churches of the home. For the sake of overall social and child well-being, how deeply family-centred are we really becoming? Are we accepting the realities – positive and negative of family life, the fighting, yes, the peace-making too, that we need to model and teach. Hospitality, generosity and willingness to share are family values, and most important is unconditional love, because we belong to one another and together are children of one Father who created us all out of love for love.
The logistics of organising the busy schedule of a variety of events must have been enormous, as well as being a security nightmare. From the point of view of an observer glimpsing the faces of the crowds of women and men, some having camped out overnight, they certainly appeared patient, relaxed, serious at times and in celebratory mode at appropriate times. Having heard that 50% of the population of Cameroon is under 25 I was surprised that I did not see too many hordes of youngsters running around, whining and, just maybe, fighting!
Pope Leo will be ending his 11 day African Apostolic Journey of peace soon. His message has been proclaimed loud and clear. “Stop fighting, please stop, for the sake of the children, for the elderly and those left homeless.” May his words, his prayers and his blessings, conveying the Father’s love for all his creatures bear fruit in all the countries and all families of all ages. As we say in South Africa, while thanking God for our precious hard-won freedom, Nkosi sikelelI Afrika, FM TR 22 APRIL 2026
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY
April 22. SEE. Jocelyn was studying Church history and their assignment was to study persecution from the early days until today. “More stories of death and persecution. Saul who had been a so-called righteous Jew, was in the forefront of the persecution before his conversion when he became known as apostle Paul. How much harm has been done in the world and the Church too because of religious narrowness. I’m learning a lot. It’s interesting that nowadays Pope Leo preaches peace and diplomacy constantly without actually judging persons.” she said to the family. Prince added, “St Francis had the same attitude of tolerance, unity and peace.“
JUDGE. Scripture : Devout men buried Stephen. But Saul laid waste the Church and entering house after house, he dragged off men and women and committed them to prison. From Acts 8:1b – 8. Pope Francis: It pains me greatly to discover how some Christian communities can tolerate different forms of enmity, division, calumny, defamation, vendetta, jealousy and the desire to impose certain ideas at all costs even to persecutions which appear as veritable witch hunts. Whom are we going to evangelise if this is the way we act? EG 100 When in the name of an ideology there is an attempt to remove God from a society that society ends up adoring idols and very soon men and women lose their way, their dignity is trampled and their rights violated. You know well how much suffering is caused by the denial of freedom of conscience and of religious freedom and how that wound leaves a humanity which is impoverished because it lacks hope and ideals to guide it. FT274. Pope Leo: Christ our peace who has conquered death and broken down the walls of division that separate humanity continues to shine through the perseverance of many witnesses. PM 1 Jan.
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