This month will have the 4th annual Day for Grandparents and the Elderly of Pope Francis, coming up on 28th July. I know that he has held several meetings about the pastoral care of the elderly too, aware no doubt of the ageing membership in the Church.  But this ministry is not entirely new.  Way back in 1998 the then Pontifical Council for the Laity, also alongside the UN theme in 1999, focused on THE DIGNITY OF OLDER PEOPLE AND THEIR MISSION IN THE CHURCH AND THE WORLD.   MARFAM did pick up the whole subject of the elderly in 1999 with articles and magazines. An extract from the Church’s doc on “the Meaning and Value of Old Age” notes some special charisms:  “Disinterestedness – giving without expectation of return, memory – sharing history with the younger, experience – skills and knowledge, interdependence – accepting a variety of relationships on a social level, and lastly a more complete vision of life.  This charism includes a sense of responsibility, faith in God, friendship, disinterest in power, prudence, patience, wisdom and a deeper inner conviction of the need to respect creation and foster peace.”   One could say in other words, “wisdom.”

MARFAM’S main July focus generally over the years from a family perspective has been on grandparents and their relationship with grandchildren.  However it is clear that not all elderly persons are grandparents, or would like to be, but they are nevertheless members of families. Aunts, uncles, sisters and brothers, religious and lay as well as childless couples and widowed and divorced persons all need to be considered too as they all grow older and quite often alone.  Pope Francis in 2024 uses the theme “do not cast me away in my old age,”  focusing strongly on the loneliness, sometime abandonment, rejection and possibly abuse.  

The Life Esidimeni case that happened here in South Africa in 2016, where over 140 elderly people are known to have died due to neglect after being transferred from an institution for mentally disabled people to unsuitable care facilities.  In a recent enquiry the Gauteng Health Department has finally been found to be responsible.   But to what extent were the families of those persons aware or involved at the time?   

Mental illness in varying degrees is not at all uncommon, ranging from levels and bouts of anxiety and depression to the long progressive process of dementia.   All these conditions are difficult crosses for the individual and often more so for their family members who are responsible to care for them as the state does not have adequate resources to do so.

On a much more practical, maybe a little lighter note, I developed a little survey about the fears of the elderly.  As an older person myself I am well aware of some of my own fears and can sometimes laugh about this, but we seldom discuss these concerns with our loved ones or carers.  So, why not do this exercise as an opportunity to share or create awareness?  

SOME FEARS and SOME WORRIES OF THE ELDERLY.    

  • Spiders, mice, snakes, cats, cockroaches, other bugs  
  • Falling,
  • Getting sick, cancer, alzheimers, parkinsons
  • Having to care for a sick spouse or partner
  • Being alone, in the dark
  • Dying,   dying alone,
  • Leaving my partner or family behind
  • Driving a car
  • Being attacked,
  • Having an accident and injury
  • Losing my memory
  • Running out of money
  • Abuse
  • Death or injury of a child, grandchild
  • Fear of having another person in my life
  • Being bullied by ???
  • Water, drowning in the bath.   
  • Causing a fire, e.g.  when cooking or smoking

But there are joys and gifts too. After a busy working life there can be time to spend on oneself, reading, taking up a hobby – music or sport e.g. birding, traveling.  Spending quality time with others, a spouse, partner, family member or good friend. Sometimes we have money to share,  or give time to church and charitable activities.  Aren’t many charities run by retirees?  It is also very much still a time for spiritual growth, also taking into consideration one’s life situation, e.g. widowhood has its own spirituality.    New relationships sometimes develop that can give much joy to both.  

Pope Francis reminds us that “God never abandons us.”   We, the elderly can take that to heart ourselves too.  “Pastoral care and service to and with older people can help all to a conversion of heart and a genuine reciprocal giving between the generations.    The whole of the Christian life is like a great pilgrimage to the house of the Father, whose unconditional love for every creature we discover anew each day. (Tertio Millennio Adveniente) PS, Isn’t it interesting that we only very recently have learned to recognise that every creature means the animals too. TR FAMILY WEEKLY 17 JULY 2024. 

THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY JULY 17.

July 17 “What you shared yesterday about sin is really very deep.  I’m afraid I can’t quite see it like that.  Maybe my faith over the years has become simpler, like that of the little children Jesus spoke about.”  “That’s OK.   Each of us has to answer to God from their own insights and conscience,” George added.

 Reflect, share, scripture:  “I thank you Father, Lord of heaven and earth that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to infants. Matt 11:25-27. Pope Francis: We have been called to form consciences, not to replace. AL 37  In calling to mind the figure of St Francis of Assisi we come to realise that a healthy relationship with creation is one dimension of overall personal conversion, which entails the recognition of our errors, sins, faults and failures and leads to heartfelt repentance and desire to change.   LS 218  St Francis invites us to see nature as a magnificent book in which God speaks to us and grants us a glimpse of his infinite beauty and goodness. LS12. ACTION AND PRAYER.    The simple love and faith of St Francis can enrich our own faith lives.

Download a Movement of Prayer for grandchildren.https://marfam.org.za/2024/07/09/movement-of-prayer-of-grandparents-for-their-grandchildren/