FAMILY MATTERS – MARFAM WEEKLY E-NEWSLETTER 3 JUNE 2026

The overview for this June month’s THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY focuses on children and youth in general everywhere.          

JUNE.  Children belong in Families.  Birth, childhood and growth into adolescence  are the most vibrant stages in all of creation, human, animal and plant. Growth and regrowth can often be stressful and conflict-filled. However, ideally in any family, the young need conscious protection, love, care and support to monitor and direct their youthful energy towards full and responsible maturity.   Pope Francis:  It is true that the difficulties the youth experience in their own family can lead the young to ask whether it is worthwhile to start a new family, to be faithful and to be generous. I say that it is worth your every effort to invest in the family, there you will find the best incentives to mature and the greatest joys to experience and share. From Letter to youth

On the human side, psychological research generally agrees that, for boys and girls, their own family is the best place for a child to grow up. The Church teaches that children are born from a marriage, That remains the ideal.  However across the world family realities are so diverse and the life situation of children and young people into their late teens is so varied that this idea of a family needs to be unpacked in much more detail. Is there a genuine average family, and what can be considered normal, or are there many different family types that can be seen as normal in a particular situation?  Examples are child- or single parent headed, special needs members, same sex.  Every family unit and its members has the same dignity and must be respected.

Statistics in South Africa recognize that more than half of children live with and in a woman-headed family, a mom or often a grandmother or another relative or a carer.  The vast majority do not spend their whole childhood with both biological parents.  Because of this real-life experience next best realities have to be explored and ideally adopted  for the benefit of children.  In terms of the SA Children’s Act the child’s rights and best interests always have to be applied. That can be tricky for family units as parents do also have rights as well as responsibilities.  Marfam’s perspective is that children belong in families. That may not be with their biological parents, but with a reconstituted family, a group that is related, or that they can relate to, foster parents or what is considered to be in their best interests, as determined by a professional e.g. a social worker or mediator. 

Last week when the encyclical was newly launched I focused mainly on the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Love. This week we celebrated the feastday of the Blessed Trinity and our focus can be on the Trinity as the original community of love, of which the family is called to be an icon by Pope Francis in Amoris Laetitia where he writes in some detail on the topic of children.  Their need for belonging should be valued as much by parents as by the children themselves.  How often in damaged relationships do children become pawns in a battle between their parents.  Do they belong with  mom from Monday to Friday and with dad for the weekend, or in another arrangement.?  That may well be the best option available.  The sense of belonging is more than being an appendage, a possession, a responsibility or a burden, but a source of the life of all the members as well as their relationships with God and creation.   

Is living with grandparents more acceptable in some cultures than others. In African extended families it is common and accepted readily by children.  What are the particular benefits of life with biological parents? Is there a natural bond, with a mother and father that provides security, value formation and cultural identity?  Children in adoptive families often search for their birth mother or father. Even in very dysfunctional relationships with children placed in foster care or a children’s home contact with parents is seen as important whenever possible.  

How serious is parental neglect, an issue that has no class or cultural boundaries? Time is an issue for everyone.  Too early parenting of girls as well as boys clearly presents complications for the wider family on both sides.  Substance abuse, addictions e.g. digital and social media, as well as abuse may make mothers and/or fathers incompetent, unable to bring up and provide the needed socialization, protection, financial support and security for children, who may well carry trauma beyond their growing years into adulthood.  Children who experience abuse in their childhood, or more likely to become adult abusers.

Beyond what should be, seen as a relatively normal society with parents working to provide for their children and their education, maybe given some support by an extended family, in our world today there are literally millions of children who do not have these basic benefits.  Social conflicts, war, natural and man-made disasters and  health issues are experienced across the world. Migration, for whatever reason splits families. Possibly parents, one or both, migrate for work and leave children behind. Unaccompanied minors travel and cross borders, not necessarily even having anywhere to go.  Refugee camps  in war-torn areas, are filled to overflowing with women and children, maybe unrelated units as well, and these camps can be horrific places to live, in a family, but often a informal group where members have ben killed or disappeared.   Fathers are too often not at hand and family units form through dire necessity.

Other families of creation, animals and birds, may be better adapted socially and not faced with the myriad difficulties of so-called developed human society, but they also suffer from environmental events, reduced habitats  and changes often brought about by our human action.

Pope Leo frequently speaks of people as brothers and sisters, and in general when family is mentioned in liturgy and the church it is often used generically – we’re all family together, which is also true.  MARFAM all these many years has promoted the ideal image of CHURCH AS FAMILY OF GOD.  Why? We recognize even more than that general social situation, the personal and intimate bond of biological relationships as a very special gift of God for children and for their parents alike.  Where else can we experience and model the unconditional love that is God love?  Where do we learn  to cherish those close to us and through the experience of loving,  are  able to reach out in compassion and love for others, for families – parents and children?  We need to do so to build the Civilisation of Love of which Pope Leo writes. “The civilization of love will not arise from a single or spectacular gesture, but from the sum total of small and steadfast acts of fidelity that serve as a bulwark against dehumanization.” (par. 213).

“Every day, let’s live and pray and say, “Love is our way, today!” TR 3 june 2026

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

During this month some of the realities and other situations will be highlighted and others listed for consideration, noting joys and difficulties also experienced in various situations.  It can be noted that synodal sharing in groups could be a way to create awareness and also grow in gratitude and compassion.  As concerned parents and families, members of the Church and also of society, we genuinely do want what is best for our children.  Right now  we bring to mind Pope Leo’s new encyclical Magnifica Humanitas and especially the aspect of building a Civilization of Love.  MARFAM’s ministry since 1994 has been deeply conscious of this objective, which we first encountered at the 1st World Meeting of Families in Rome with its theme FAMILY– HEART OF THE CIVILISATION OF LOVE. 

June 3.   Charles Llwanga and Ugandan Martyrs.  SEE. There were some Ugandan children in the catechism class and they knew all about the story of the 22 Ugandan martyrs. They shared some of the horrific and cruel ways in which they died, like being burned alive,  in the 1880s at the command of the king.  Some were young boys, like St Kizito the youngest of the martyrs, who was only 13 and passionate about his faith.  One was a ruler’s own son and others were officials at the court who disagreed with the king and protected some of the young pages from his homosexual demands.  This allowed deacon Samuel to briefly open the subject of sexual orientation with the class too. Young people are having to face this challenge and be helped to understand their genuine developing gender identity without just exploring what is considered fashionable.      

JUDGE. Reflect, share, Scripture:  Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, not anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Rom 8:39  Pope Francis:  To respond to our vocation we need to foster and develop all that we are. This has nothing to do with inventing ourselves or creating ourselves out of nothing.  It has to do with finding out true selves in the light of God and letting our lives flourish and bear fruit.  CV 257.   Pope Leo:  The involvement in people’s lives helps the Church understand ever more clearly that her mission has a historical scope and entails a responsibility for the way in which social relations are built. For this reason, she cannot consider herself a stranger to the forces shaping society. MH 19

ACT AND PRAY. Consider the reality of martyrdom in parts of the world still today.How many young people and children are suffering and dying? Pray for a recognition of the rights of all.