September 19.  Fr Peter posed a question, ”What is worse, a jealous wife or a jealous husband?”  He spoke to everyone not only to couples but stressed that emotions like jealousy and ambition are constant challenges in marriage. Jealousy may manifest itself first as a feeling of rejection, a natural reaction to a situation and feelings in themselves are not good or bad, right or wrong.  The action that results from that feeling, resentment acted out, recriminations, judgements or criticisms do become wrong and harmful to the relationship. He stressed  too, that feelings are not always easy to share but it is important that for there to be true peace in the home, a sense of tranquility and contentment rather just an absence of conflict, couples and families should learn to share their feelings and accept each other’s feelings. ‘Why not play a feelings game some time, a charade or role play acting out different feelings and how you feel.  That is a nice way to start to practise and what should be continued too.’” 

Where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.   But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, without uncertainly or insincerity.   And the harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.  James 3:16 – 4:3. 

Pope Francis: One spouse may not feel fully appreciated, or may be attracted to another person.  Jealousy and tensions may emerge.  These and many other things rather than threatening love are so many occasions for reviving and renewing it.  AL 237. 

Questions for SHARING AND ACTION  – for couples, individuals or groups.

For couples: Peace is something active not a passive non-action.  Understanding and acceptance are required to build peace.  As a gift to yourselves take time each day to share the strongest feeling you have experienced. Listen carefully and remember to thank each other for this gift. Then share how you have been able to build peace in the home.

For others.  Consider what you can do to facilitate communication between couples and pray particularly for peace and joy in their marriages. 

ECO-TIP AND PRAYER:  Start or get involved in an interracial peace-building campaign on social media centred on couples and families.  Pray together for racial harmony in homes.