MARFAM WEEKLY E-NEWSLETTER 11 FEBRUARY
Last week I suggested that there is more to February than Valentine’s. So now I can state that because our theme for the month is “Love gives Families Life” Valentine’s Day, or Valentine’s month is a very good time to focus on marriage. It can apply to any married couple, at whatever stage in life they are: newly-wed, young parents needing to keep in touch with their couple relationships too, parents of teens, empty nest or together in old age, where likely one or both are not in the best of health while still living their marriage as they choose. At any of these stages we have learned in marriage ministry that couples can experience romance, disillusionment, misery, and true joy resulting from the ability and power of forgiveness and making a decision to love.
But even before the actual marriage, the Church proposed that marriage preparation has three phases: Remote, Proximate and Immediate. Most of the work done in the existing programmes is in the Immediate phases, leading up to the wedding. The proximate phase is from late teens and young adulthood to beginning to consider the possibility and opportunities offered by marriage as a vocation in life. This phase, in my view, is where many couples drift into vat-en-sit, cohabiting relationships or have become sexually active. Remote preparation is important too, beginning with families at home, parents, grandparents and extended families or friends modelling marriage. At the same time catechesis too about relationships, sexuality and a future that could include a marriage matters for them.
At a Johannesburg Archdiocesan Marriage and Family Ministry facilitators meeting on 10th February there was much discussion about marriage and more even about marriage preparation – mainly the immediate phase. There was mention of the Sacrament of Matrimony, sexuality, hurting relationships, widowhood and divorce too and many practical realities of life. A special focus highlighted was on the need for the Church – often in the form of the priests in parishes and the marriage ministy, to offer much needed support.
From MARFAM’S perspective, there is even more. While marriage ministry is a need in itself the whole approach to Marriage as one of the seven Sacraments of the Church, with its own specific spirituality, means it should be as present in catechesis, including RCIA just as the other sacraments. Going even further still, marriage is the ideal foundation of a family, but sadly it is often not the case. The African Synod of 1994 in choosing the image for the Church in Africa of the Church as the Family of God was basing it on the model and qualities of the ideal African family “because it emphasizes care for others, solidarity, warmth in human relationships, acceptance, dialogue and trust.” EA 63
So my vision for marriage and a family-centred Church is that all Church members from the Pope down to every baptised Catholic man and woman – and frequently their spouses – should experience the JOY OF LOVE that Pope Francis used as the title of his Apostolic Exhortation on the family Amoris Laetitia. We speak so much of love, but how often do we mean the committed, faithful, lifelong relationship of marriage? Sadly, World Marriage Day, on the 2nd Sunday of February – an approved celebration – has somehow been neglected and hardly celebrated anywhere in the Church, as it doesn’t appear on the liturgical calendar. How neglectful is that? We could, if we choose still include it in the Mass for Sunday 15 February in some way, praying not only for couples but also for the whole church in which marriage and families should play a major part.
11 February is today celebrated as the 34th World Day of Prayer for the Sick on this feastday of Our Lady of Lourdes, associated primarily with healing, which is often not physical but in spirit. We all know that there are very many ways to pray around sickness. Pope Leo’s prayer message for February asks that no suffering child be denied quality medical care or loving human attention. At a St Josephine Bakhita Mass on 8 February it struck me that while she is the patroness of human trafficking survivors, there are hundreds and thousands of children in Sudan – Josephine’s country- who are enslaved by civil war, are abused, displaced, and separated from families. War is in a sense also a human traffickking reality.
For the World Day of Prayer for the Sick MARFAM’s THOUGHT FOR THE DAY notes two perspectives: JUDGE, reflect and share. Scripture: The parable of the Good Samaritan. Lk 10:25-37). Pope Francis:“Come to me, all you who labour and are burdened, and I will give you rest” (Mt 11:28). “They point to the mysterious path of grace that is revealed to the simple and gives new strength to those who are weary and tired. These words of Christ express his solidarity with all those who are hurt and afflicted. On this XXVIII World Day of the Sick, Jesus repeats these words to the sick, the oppressed, and the poor. For they realize that they depend entirely on God and, beneath the burden of their trials, they stand in need of his healing. Pope Leo: theme for 34th World Day of the Sick. The compassion of the Samaritan: loving by bearing another’s pain. Extract: We live immersed in a culture of speed, immediacy and haste – a culture of “discard” and indifference that prevents us from pausing along the way and drawing near to acknowledge the needs and suffering that surround us. In the parable, when the Samaritan saw the wounded man, he did not “pass by.” Instead, he looked upon him with an open and attentive gaze – the very gaze of Jesus – which led him to act with human and compassionate closeness. The Samaritan “stopped, approached the man and cared for him personally, even spending his own money to provide for his needs… Above all he gave him his time.” Jesus does not merely teach us who our neighbor is, but rather how to become a neighbor; how we can draw close to others. Saint Augustineteaches that the Lord did not intend to show us who that man’s neighbor was, but rather to whom he should become a neighbor. No one is truly a neighbor until they freely draw near to another. The one who became a neighbor was the one who showed mercy. Love is not passive; it goes out to meet the other. Being a neighbor is not determined by physical or social proximity, but by the decision to love. https://www.vatican.va/content/leo-xiv/en/messages/sick/documents/20260113-messaggio-giornata-malato.html
. So while last week I considered that there is more to February than Valentine’s I could conclude this week that Marriage absolutely does Matter, across the board, but even so, in a World as a Family of Families, there is more than marriage as the experience of a loving God, creator, with whom we are called to be co-creators, and carers for all his creation. But at this time let our prayers be especially for all the sick, in mind and body. while in a very special way may God bless those spouses who are patiently and lovingly caring for a sick and dying partner with whom they have spent a lifetime witnessing to Jesus’ presence in this world. TR 10 FEBRUARY 2026. PS Happy Valentine’s Day to all lovers and beloveds.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY, 11 FEBRUARY 2026
11 February. World Day of Prayer for the Sick. SEE: Fr Jeremiah was well aware of the search for healing of many of his parishioners. Some went on pilgrimages to Ngome or other shrines, some went to healing services in different churches. On this Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes and the World Day of Prayer for the Sick he invited everyone to come together to celebrate Mass, to pray and also to seek inspiration, using the words of Jesus in the messages for the day from Pope Francis and Pope Leo.
JUDGE, reflect and share. Scripture: The parable of the Good Samaritan. Lk 10:25-37). Pope Francis: “Come to me, all you who labour and are burdened, and I will give you rest” (Mt 11:28). “They point to the mysterious path of grace that is revealed to the simple and gives new strength to those who are weary and tired. These words of Christ express his solidarity with all those who are hurt and afflicted. On this XXVIII World Day of the Sick, Jesus repeats these words to the sick, the oppressed, and the poor. For they realize that they depend entirely on God and, beneath the burden of their trials, they stand in need of his healing. Pope Leo: theme for 34th World Day of the Sick. The compassion of the Samaritan: loving by bearing another’s pain. Extract: We live immersed in a culture of speed, immediacy and haste – a culture of “discard” and indifference that prevents us from pausing along the way and drawing near to acknowledge the needs and suffering that surround us. In the parable, when the Samaritan saw the wounded man, he did not “pass by.” Instead, he looked upon him with an open and attentive gaze – the very gaze of Jesus – which led him to act with human and compassionate closeness. The Samaritan “stopped, approached the man and cared for him personally, even spending his own money to provide for his needs… Above all he gave him his time.” Jesus does not merely teach us who our neighbor is, but rather how to become a neighbor; how we can draw close to others. Saint Augustine teaches that the Lord did not intend to show us who that man’s neighbor was, but rather to whom he should become a neighbor. No one is truly a neighbor until they freely draw near to another. The one who became a neighbor was the one who showed mercy. Love is not passive; it goes out to meet the other. Being a neighbor is not determined by physical or social proximity, but by the decision to love. https://www.vatican.va/content/leo-xiv/en/messages/sick/documents/20260113-messaggio-giornata-malato.html
ACT AND PRAY: Consider joining Noel and Lebo who shared on healing. “We’ve been there. We know what it feels like. We did feel Jesus’ loving touch when our baby was so ill. That is why we have decided to become part of the parish ministry to the sick,” Pray with Pope Leo’s prayer for the day, the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes: Sweet Mother, do not part from me. Turn not your eyes away from me. Walk with me at every moment and never leave me alone. You who always protect me as a true Mother, obtain for me the blessing of the Father,Son and Holy Spirit.
In preparation for Lent which is just around the corner, order MARFAM’s LENTEN BOOKLET with a focus on the Year of St Francis. LOVE IS HIS LAW, LOVE IS HIS WAY. Cost R30. Order From [email protected] or +27 825521275
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