MARFAM’S WEEKLY E-NEWSLETTER 12 NOVEMBER 2025

Pope Leo’s November prayer intention is “that those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts might find the support, care, and love they need in their community, and be open to the beauty of life.”  I’m writing my thoughts on 11 November, Armistice Day, commemorating the end of World War I, in 1918 and remembering the 100 million men who died in this war as well as the many millions who have died in WW II and other wars that continue to be waged. This is in spite of the fact that Pope Francis loudly proclaimed in Fratelli Tutti. what the world says it hopes to achieve, “Never again war.”  I wonder, “Is war not also a form of suicide?”

Think of suicide and the mind jumps to teenagers stressed about exams and their final results, or for some the elderly who struggle with a slow, painful end of life. Suicidal thoughts, however, are much more general than the actual deed.  At this time of COP30 I can even say that our human behavior, almost across the board, is suicidal as our behavior is destroying the earth, our mother and source of life.  Do we think enough about that and so much for being open to the beauty of life! Do creatures, other than humans, have the inclination to commit suicide, I wonder. Does a lone rejected old elephant bull or a disabled creature of any kind consider ending a life that has little value left for them in their community?  We know that in some cultures, the old and weak, recognizing that their days are done, and they are a burden to society, will disappear to a quiet place to lie down to die. Can that be seen as giving up on life?

Our human suicidal thoughts are in another league and are, in essence, giving up on life, rejecting its value and generally the person’s own value too.  We humans have a different role in God’s creation to so-called lesser creatures, a greater responsibility to honour the gift of life. Can we freely make a choice to end it because of unbearable suffering, or we’re tired of it, have achieved our life’s goals, and have nothing left to live for?  

How can suicidal thoughts be described?  They are when you think about, consider or feel preoccupied with the idea of death and suicide as taking your own life.  Such thoughts may come and go, or be extremely distracting, even to a point where you might even consider the possibility. Unless there is a particular mental health condition such thoughts would be related to difficult circumstances, an inability to cope and begging for a release from an unbearable reality.  All such thoughts can be a warning signal and need to be taken seriously, addressed and treated with loving concern, rather than the judgement of sin and guilt which have so often been attached to suicide in the past.  

It’s difficult to simply define because it’s different for each person. For example, you might fall asleep to the thought of not waking up in the morning. Or you might see a fast-moving vehicle and think about jumping out in front of it. These thoughts can vary in severity and intensity.  Having a thought isn’t the same as physically attempting suicide, but it can still impact your mental health and lead to suicidal behaviour or self-harm.The thought “I wish I was dead!” may or may not lead to anything, depending on the circumstances or how severe the mental or physical pain is. In South Africa suicide is one of the leading causes of death in youth and young adults but occurs in all ages.

Does one’s faith level and belief system have an impact?  Personal spirituality, family and community religious and moral beliefs and practice do have an impact. These can be the most supportive or negative judgemental factors.  A strong personal faith, trust in God and God’s love, and a sense of hope are protective factors.  However severe stress and distress, e.g. bullying, an abusive home situation, addiction, financial and health concerns are risks factors that can override the influence of the positives. A family should be the ideal support system to prevent suicidal thoughts from external sources, but too often the risk factors are within the family and will go unnoticed except by outside support sources.   

Every age and life situation has its stresses. The saying “no man is an island” is relevant, if considered that no individual or family, or community is or should be an island. It is a communal responsibility for schools, work, churches, neighbourhood or sporting groups to be aware of the positive and negative emotions displayed by their members. They can become the listening ear and warm compassionate hearts that support each other’s’ wellbeing.  Professional and specialist support such as school psychologists are a necessary important support.

There are important resources and events available at this time that could act to prevent suicidal thoughts. Pope Francis in the Jubilee of Hope 2025  recognises that “everyone knows what it is to hope, as the desire and expectation of good things to come, despite our not knowing what the future may bring. Uncertainty about the future may at times give rise to conflicting feelings, ranging from confident trust to apprehensiveness, from serenity to anxiety, from firm conviction to hesitation and doubt.” His prayer is that the Jubilee will be a renewal in hope, in faith and the powerful experience of God’s love.

The World Day of the Poor on Sunday 16th has great relevance.  How do the historical desperately poor, the newly poor who have lost jobs, youth struggling to find work experience suicidal thoughts?  Yet the Holy Father also reminds us that the poor can be a resource to others through their trust in God and simpler life view.  

It is sometimes easier to close our ears, eyes and hearts to what is happening in the world and on our own doorsteps. Corruption in the public service, international public events such as the G20 happening in SA shortly and the current COP 30 climate conference are occasions for self-reflection as well as a call to action for all of society, the government but each of us in the private sector too.  

November can be a crazy, frantic race towards the end of the year. But it is also a month to remember the past, those who have died and those who remain behind.  Suicidal thoughts are a reality but with Pope Leo during the month of November we pray “that those who experience these thoughts will find the support, love and care they need and be open to the beauty of life.”     TR

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

November 12.   Bryan wished to highlight the loss of quality of life and dignity caused by certain illnesses.  “Al Illnesses, physical and mental, result in a loss in the quality of life. Some are fatal.  Some diseases cause a loss in dignity too, as sufferers are discriminated against and stigmatised, like those affected by HIV and AIDS.  They have suffered serious psychological and emotional pain too. COVID did not have the same kind of stigma, but through the total isolation everyone suffered.  Mental illness, dementia especially, affects the patient as well as their carers.  Leprosy was a terminal disease until recent times and in Jesus’ day sufferers lived as outcasts from the community. Jesus’ gift of his healing ministry extended to anyone, outcasts and foreigners but he still, and rightfully, expected some recognition and thanks. “ 

Reflect, share, act. Scripture:  One of the lepers when he saw he was healed turned back praising God.  Jesus asked “Were not ten lepers cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except his foreigner?”  Luke 17:11-19.  Pope Francis:  The family can discover together with the Christian community new approaches, a different way of understanding and identifying with others by welcoming and caring for the mystery of the frailty of human life.Al 47             Jubilee. Signs of hope should also be shown to the sick, at home or in hospital. Their sufferings can be allayed by the closeness and affection of those who visit them. Works of mercy are also works of hope that give rise to immense gratitude. Gratitude should likewise be shown to all those healthcare workers who, often in precarious conditions, carry out their mission with constant care and concern for the sick and for those who are most vulnerable. Inclusive attention should also be given to all those in particularly difficult situations, who experience their own weaknesses and limitations, especially those affected by illnesses or disabilities that severely restrict their personal independence and freedom. Care given to them is a hymn to human dignity, a song of hope that calls for the choral participation of society as a whole.  SNC11.  Act and Pray. As a family activity why not consider the stories of all ten of the lepers, the one who did give thanks and those who maybe took this for granted. Give them names. Use your own imagination: How would you react if suddenly you were restored to life and community: What did you miss while you were excluded?  Pray for compassionate concern for those suffering loss in their families.