MARFAM FAMILY WEEKLY NEWSLETTER 19 JANUARY 2025.  LOVE GIVES FAMILIES LIFE, THE FEBRUARY FAMILY THEME. .  

Having spent the last few weeks of this month of love on marriage related matters this week we are looking into another form of family relationships, certainly reconstituted but not of married and divorced, but of abandoned, orphaned, adopted, foster babies brought together over more than 25 years.  That is the story of TLC – THE LOVE OF CHRIST ministry. http://www.tlc.org.za  http://www.embracevillage.com.

One of the concepts I remember very well from the 1980s and our Marriage Encounter days is “life-giving.”  This concept introduced to us by the late Fr Chuck Gallagher, who went from ME and other marriage related programmes into a range of parish family building and strengthening resources, a ministry that Chris and I adopted in MARFAM.  “There is more to family life than marriage” we discovered and I have experienced. At age 80 now, I was single and 23 when I married, was married for 33 years and have been widowed for 25 years.  In between there were children born and raised and deaths of family members, close or more distant.  Each of those and other family stages or types has its own spirituality.   This was only loosely touched on in Amoris Laetitia, which does focus most strongly on marriage and its associated issues.  On top of all that we have to be aware that every individual, lay, religious, male or female is part of a family, whether we live with them or move in and out.   In other words, the Church – and the world for that matter – is made up of families.  

Along the way I also adopted the families of creation, plant and animal which is almost a whole new world to explore.  So MARFAM’s theme for some years has remained the same.  OUR WORLD, A FAMILY OF FAMILIES, and OUR CHURCH A FAMILY OF FAMILIES too.    This image of Church as Family of God, was chosen by the 1994 African Synod as appropriate for Africa. In the Church we’re inclined to call ourselves a family, in the sense that we are by baptism  without there being a biological connection.  That is a reality. However, with a growing awareness of the laity and its role in the Church already promoted by Vatican II, I believe that the biological aspect of the various types of families should be developed from a spirituality aspect too, e.g. a spirituality of parenting, of singleness, of divorce, widowhood and old age etc.  the possibilities are vast when we take social parenting of orphans, sexuality and its many facts into account too.   Some years after Chris had died and I was participating in a retreat for widowed people I cried over the loss of my beloved spouse.  Someone in the group tried to comfort me by saying, , “Jesus will be your spouse.”   That did not go down well with me. I didn’t want Jesus in that way, I wanted Chris. Now 20 years later I, sadly, have forgotten much of my married relationship but am becoming closer to Jesus, especially in the light of the recent encyclical on the Sacred Heart of Jesus which I have been studying and including in MARFAM’s THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY.   

For me the concept of family, which is meant to be a model of the Trinity, remains a core concept of my spiritual life, which now includes children, grandchildren and in-laws too.  All of them can and are “life-giving” to me, and also at times “life-destroying”.  As we progress with developing the church of the laity more I can imagine the priests and the bishops being true servants of the people as families, turning the sanctuary in the church upside down, no doubt.       

Life is a journey, and for us in 2025 a Pilgrim Journey of Hope and renewal in our spiritual lives which in a true sense is being life-giving. The Jubilee document on hope Spes non Confundit  – Hope does not disappoint,  contains a section on Signs of Hope, a number of which are directly family related, e.g grandparents, youth.   We, in our families and as Pilgrims of Hope are called to be life-giving, to seek and become the signs of hope for the Church and the world. Let us be life-giving through love,  to all families, regular and reconstituted, made up of  abandoned, orphaned, lonely, adopted, fostered, children and all ages. Love gives life, as a sign of hope, on their pilgrimage of hope, by Pilgrims of Hope, in families.   TR Family weekly 19 February 2025