MARFAM FAMILY MATTERS, WEEKLY E-NEWSLETTER 13 November 2024

Memories, remembering and researching aspects of history, especially one’s own, can be very fascinating occupations, as interesting facts may come to light or be resurrected from deep down inside one’s gut.  An interesting meaningful moment for me occurred when I invited Peter James Smith, a wellknown Johannesburg man, a sausage maker still in his elderly years, but more importantly an ex SABC presenter and expert on Remembrance Day in SA, which has just been celebrated worldwide and here in SA. I knew he would be a good guest for my FAMILY MATTERS Radio Veritas show on just that topic.  As we talked to prepare he mentioned in passing that the 2 minute silence, which forms part of the commemoration ritual, was a suggestion by Sir Percy Fitzpatrick, whose name I recognized as being the writer of Jock of the Bushveld. I very recently rediscovered the book and enjoyed reading it, disregarding the usual perception that it is a children’s book. Doing some homework of checking up Fitzpatrick’s very colourful history in South African and Britain, I discovered he was an Old Aidanite, one of the top Catholic schools in Grahamstown in SA’s long history of schools,  like my late husband Chris, although many years earlier.  He was a military man, a journalist and politician in the intriguing days around the Boer Wars and South Africa’s battles for self-determination at that time.          

It so happened that Remembrance Day was the original Armistice Day, which ended hostilities in World War I.  It was signed on 11.11.11, i.e. 11am on 11th day of the 11th month of November by Germany and a number of Allied countries. This was during the month dedicated by the Church to commemorating all the deceased.  Armistice Day, or Remembrance Day, or poppy day, or also Veterans day, as it is also known in different countries, has become a significant international event.  At first it was only about World War 1, but later those who died during WW II were also remembered and as time went by those killed in action in other, or even all country’s wars, became included in this meaningful and unifying commemoration.  

However, is this about peace or a glorification of war I still ask myself?    What have been the attitudes over time towards the risks of going to war of young men, and also women, or not so young people? Is there a sense of pride in one’s country, or of duty, or an growing aversion to war or to its particular causes?  What are the fears and anxieties of innocent civilians who are victims in too many wars of today?   Where do the fears and anxieties lead?  Is it resentment, escalation of fighting or determination to achieve peace? 

Our personal memories are often about life and death too, especially if we take the time to reflect on our losses during this month.  Is your “saint” whose memory you hold so dear, truly already a saint, or in purgatory, still on the way through purification? Do you pray for him or her, parent, spouse or child, ask or grant forgiveness for the unfinished business still between you?    The MARFAM bereavement prayer below does cover a number of relational issues to be called to min, remembered and healed.  Maybe these have had to be dealt with in the early days and as we finally had to accept the reality of the loss Pope Francis reminds us “Although the certainty of death saddens us we are consoled by the promise of future immortality, for the life of those who believe in you Lord is not ended but changed. Our loved ones are not lost in the shades of nothingness; hope assures us that they are in the good strong hands of God. AL 256

And by the way, I’m definitely going to share with my children and grandchildren that they must read or reread Jock of the Bushveld if they haven’t done so, and relish the thought that the writer of this famous book was a school mate of their dad and granddad, even if it was before his time. That should make them proud, as it did for me.    TR  FAMILY WEEKLY 13 NOVEMBER 2024

A Family Bereavement Prayer.    God our Father, we remember in prayer those we have loved, who have had a special place in our hearts and in our lives and are now no longer here with us.  We thank you Lord for the time you have given us to share together the gift of life.  We pray for your pardon and a willingness to forgive one another for the hurt we caused. Help us to be at peace with the imperfections of our human relationship knowing that you accept us as we are.  Comfort us through the memories our loved ones leave us.  May those memories give us courage for our journey into the future. Grant them a place of peace and joy in your kingdom where there is no more suffering and no more grief.  And when each of us is called to depart from this life may we be reunited with them in eternal happiness.   We make this prayer through Christ our Lord.   Amen.    

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 13 NOVEMBER 2024

November 13.  All Illness, physical and mental, results in a loss in the quality of life. Some are fatal.  Some diseases cause a loss in dignity too as sufferers are discriminated against and stigmatised such as many infected with HIV and died from AIDS-related diseases. They have suffered serious psychological and emotional pain too.  Leprosy was a terminal disease until recent times and in Jesus’ day sufferers lived as outcasts from the community. Jesus’ gift of his healing ministry extended to anyone, outcasts and foreigners but he still, and rightfully, expected some recognition and thanks.  As a family activity why not consider the stories of all ten of the lepers, the one who did give thanks and those who maybe took this for granted. Give them names. Use your own imagination: How would you react if suddenly you were ill and then later on restored to life and community: What did you miss while you were excluded?  

Reflect, share, act. Scripture:  One of the lepers when he saw he was healed turned back praising God.  Jesus asked, “Were not ten lepers cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except his foreigner?” Luke 17:11-19.  Pope  Francis:   In some countries there are positive examples of environmental improvements: river have been cleaned, advances made in the production of non-polluting energy.  These achievements do not solve global problems but they do show that men and women are still capable of intervening positively. For all our limitations gestures of generosity, solidarity and care cannot but well up within us since we were made for love. LS58.  Eco-tip and prayer:  Creator God in this month of commemoration of loss and death comfort us in our pain and strengthen us in our understanding that you never abandon us and care for each of your creatures day by day.